


Ashita no Kioku

by TheSilverDream



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Character Death, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-02 21:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14554323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverDream/pseuds/TheSilverDream
Summary: Sho didn’t say anything, he simply tighten his grip and kissed the top of Aiba’s head. His heart ached, hearing his lover talked about his fear, something he usually avoided.“I’m afraid if someday I woke up and the first thing I asked you is who you are.”Aiba said.“I won’t let that happen, Masaki, I promise.”Sho said.





	Ashita no Kioku

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Livejournal. I think I'll repost most of my old fics from lj to here....one fic a day :)
> 
> I wonder if anyone still remember me...lol
> 
> Beta: Bokunosubete@liverjournal

“I’m afraid, Sho-chan.”Aiba said. He laid his head on top of Sho’s chest with his hand clenching tightly on Sho’s shirt. His voice was just a low whisper, almost inaudible to hear.  
  
“Of what?”Sho asked while lightly caressing Aiba’s upper arm.  
  
“I’m afraid that someday I’ll forget about you.”Aiba said.  
  
Sho didn’t say anything, he simply tighten his grip and kissed the top of Aiba’s head. His heart ached, hearing his lover talked about his fear, something he usually avoided.  
  
“I’m afraid if someday I woke up and the first thing I asked you is who you are.”Aiba said.  
  
“I won’t let that happen, Masaki, I promise.”Sho said.  
  
“You can’t promise me something beyond your control Sho-chan.”Aiba said. He could feel sting on the back of his eyes. “We both know that this disease can’t be cured.”  
  
“If someday you forget about me, all I have to do is make you know me again, we can begin from the start, and we can make new memories.”Sho said.  
  
“I can’t do that.”Aiba said. “That would be too painful for you.”  
  
“I can bear with it; as long as I’m with you I can face anything.”Sho said.  
  
Aiba looked up to stare at Sho’s face. He loved Sho and he didn’t want to hurt him. It would be too unfair for Sho if he’s the only one who remembered. He lifted his hand and caressed Sho’s cheek. They’ve been together for 7 years. All the memories they have made, they are too precious, too beautiful to be forgotten. Tears began to roll down Aiba’s cheeks when one by one all those memories he could still remember came to his broken mind.  
  
Sho looked down at Aiba and saw the tears. He wiped them gently and smiled. “Everything will be alright.” Sho’s voice was filled with promise, but deep down his heart, he knew that he couldn’t do anything.  
  
Aiba shook his head lightly. “It’s getting harder for me Sho-chan, it’s getting harder for me to remember. I don’t want to forget about you, you’re the….”  
  
Sho cut him off with a kiss, it was too heart-wrenching to see him like that. When they finally pull apart, Sho caressed Aiba’s cheek and said, “I’ve told you, everything will be ok. No one knows about the future, all we have to do is do our best.”  
  
Aiba nodded his head and nuzzle into Sho’s warm embrace. He closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.  
~~*~~  
  
  
  
It was getting worst day by day. They went to the hospital and took an examination. Simply said, the disease was damaging the brain cells little by little. Doctor said that it would best to stay in the hospital for a few days so that they could take thorough examination. But Aiba declined and Sho can never say no to Aiba’s request. The doctor said that they can slow the symptoms with simple things they could do every day. He should start to use notes and write a diary.  
  
Aiba slowly started to forget lots of thing, simple things at first, he forgot places, like where he put things on their apartment, and he will look for it frantically until he practically forget what he was looking for. He forgot peoples name sometimes and it makes him worry when someone greeted him and talk to him while he tried to remember their names. He slowly forgot events that happened in the past. All this little things made him emotional. It made him frustrated and confused. He felt sad and scared if one day he eventually forgets who he is, or worst he forget about Sho.  
  
He began to use post it like what the doctor said. He asked Sho to buy him a board where he can put all his notes. They hung the board on the wall on their living room. Aiba wrote down all the things he needed to do or the appointment he had. He also wrote all the important dates. He felt a little bit relieved. He would check what he should be doing that day and everything was written there. He kissed Sho’s cheek as a sign of his gratitude and Sho would pull him into the bed room with a mischievous smile, but Aiba just laughed.  
  
But one day he forgot to check the board and forgot that he had an appointment with his mother and ended up making his mother waited for him at the restaurant for nearly 2 hours. He went in a rush when his mother finally called him and asked if something happened that made it impossible for him to come. He called a taxi and hugged his mother tightly when he reached the restaurant and said sorry over and over. His mother just smiled and told him that it was fine as long as he was alright.  
  
When he got home after his lunch with his mother he looked at his board and thought that it was not enough. He then decided that he will put his notes on the place he could see every day. He started to put his notes on the fridge.  
~~*~~  
  
  
  
One day, Sho found Aiba locking himself in their bedroom. He just got home from his office and got confused when he heard Aiba crying inside their bedroom. He knocked the door and called his lover’s name asking him to open the door and to tell him what happened. When Aiba didn’t answer, he knocked louder, he even plead the younger to come out of the room.  
  
Aba finally opened the door when Sho threatened him that he will break down the door. Aiba’s face was full of tears and his eyes were puffy and red. Sho pulled him into his embrace and run his finger through Aiba’s hair.  
  
Sho guided him to sit on the couch. Aiba covered his face with his hand and try to hold his sobs.  
  
“What’s wrong?”  
  
“I forgot about you.”Aiba’s voice sounds muffled because his hands still covered his face.  
  
Sho frowned and looked at the younger in confusion. “What do you mean you forgot about me?”Sho asked.  
  
“I found that old album before we started to live together. I felt nostalgic and I looked at it. At first it was still fine but suddenly your name skipped from my head and I looked at your picture and tried to remember your name.”Aiba said. “I know that it will come one day but when it suddenly came like that, it really scared me, Sho-chan.”  
  
Sho felt pang on his heart. The sight of his lover crying alone at their bed room with that damn album on his hand tried to remember his name flashed right in front of his eyes, feeling as if he was there to witness it. He hugged Aiba and kissed his forehead lovingly. He rocked his body back and forth lightly, trying to comfort his boyfriend. He didn’t want him to forget about him but there was nothing he could do.  
~~*~~  
  
  
  
“Sho-chan.”  
  
“Hmm?”  
  
“You can leave if you want, I won’t get mad or hate you.”Aiba said, looking out from the window of his room. It had been a week since the incident with the photo album and they finally decided to take Aiba to the hospital so that he could get a proper treatment.  
  
“What are you talking about?”Sho said. “I’m not going to leave; you will have to stick with me for the rest of your life.”  
  
“It’s not long then.”Aiba said dully, without looking at Sho.  
  
Sho walked toward Aiba’s bed and sit beside him. He cupped Aiba’s face and made the younger man facing him. He leaned forward and kissed Aiba’s slightly chapped lips, pouring all his heart into it. He knew that the younger man didn’t mean what he said about the possible break up. He tried to convince Aiba that whatever happens, he was not going to leave his side with that kiss.  
  
After a while, he pulled away and stared at Aiba’s brown orbs. “I don’t care whatever you say, I’m not going to leave and you can’t just throw me away as you please.”  
  
Aiba broke into tears. “I’ll just make you suffer, it’s better for you to leave and find someone else. I don’t have future Sho-chan, WE don’t have future together.”  
  
“What are you talking about? You’re alive, you have a future, and we have future.”Sho said, his voice rising a bit. He didn’t like this Masaki who gave up easily.  
  
“Look at me, Sho. I’m broken inside, I’m going to die, don’t even try to deny it.”Aiba said. “Slowly, I’ll lose the ability to think, I will lose my ability to move, I won’t be as much different as a doll, and finally I will die.”  
  
Sho didn’t say anything. He fully understood what was happening to Aiba, he just didn’t want to think about it.  
  
“Sho-chan.”Aiba called gently. “I love you, that is why I want you to be happy…with someone else.”  
  
That time, it was Sho who broke into tears. He hugged Aiba as tightly as he could and buried his face on Aiba’s shoulder. Aiba run his finger through Sho’s hair, comforting him. He would be happy if Sho is happy, even though it’s with someone else. “Promise me you’ll be happy when I’m gone.”Aiba whispered slowly.  
~~*~~  
  
  
  
Sho stared at the grave in front of him. It had been 2 years since he lives without Aiba. He still can remember the day when Aiba finally forgot about him. ‘Who are you?’ he had asked. At that moment, he wasn’t able to control himself and grabbed Aiba’s shoulder, shaking his body, asking him if he was just joking and he repeated his name over and over hoping it will help the younger man to remember until Aiba’s mom came and stopped him. They were in Aiba’s parents house at that time. Aiba looked terrified but didn’t say anything.  
  
“How can you leave me like this? I missed you; I want to see you badly.”Sho asked putting the flower he brought on top of the grave.  
  
“I’m doing well, you know. I got promoted in my current company.” Sho said while staring at the grave in front of him. “And I visited your parents yesterday; they’re doing well, so you don’t have to worry. Your little brother is older now and he’s a hard worker, helping your father running the restaurant.”  
  
Kneeling in front of the grave, he caressed it slowly. “You told me to be happy when you’re gone, but how can I do that when my happiness is no longer here?”  
  
He wiped the tears from his eyes and continued. “I promise, I’ll be happy, that’s what you wanted, right? Maybe I’ll meet someone like you someday, but I assure you, no one can replace your place in my heart.”  
  
“I have to go now; maybe I’ll come again tomorrow, so that you won’t get lonely.”Sho stood up, tightening his jacket.  
  
With the last good bye, he walked out the cemetery. 


End file.
